The Imposter Crisis is Coming, Are You Ready?

All the signs are pointing toward an impending imposter crisis. In light of today’s political climate and the social media activity of celebrities, you might think you know what I’m getting at. But I’m talking about a different imposter crisis. Let me start with a personal story.

Years ago, a friend of mine organized murder mystery dinner theatre for birthdays and other events. I helped with a few, including a party celebrating a newly appointed bank president. I was supposed to assume the role of his brother. This was a bit of a challenge since I didn’t know the bank president personally and the only background I had was his résumé biography.

After performing a scene, I was confronted by a couple of bank employees who started quizzing me on details about where my “brother” and I had grown up. It was all in good fun, but I became defensive when I couldn’t keep up the act. Not wanting my cover to be blown, I desperately clung to my story and my behavior made it obvious I was agitated by their accusations. I felt embarrassed and was uncertain of what to do at this point. I finished the evening, but it was difficult to stay in character or enjoy the event at all.

Even if you’ve never performed as an actor, you probably relate to this situation. Every day, we are asked to take on a variety of roles. You may be…

  • a spouse
  • a parent
  • a child
  • a friend
  • a coworker
  • a report
  • a leader
  • a driver
  • a shopper
  • a producer
  • a consumer
  • a counselor
  • a person in need

You could be all of these in the span of a single day. Some of these roles may be natural for you. Others may feel like a stretch. Roles related to your job can continuously slide up and down your spectrum of confidence.

Many times, you may feel like I did in the murder mystery dinner.  A feeling you’re pretending to be someone you’re not with a constant expectation someone will rat you out to the world. This feeling doesn’t mean you’re unprofessional or inadequate. It means you’re human.

In fact, this is so common, there is a term for it: Imposter Syndrome. This form of self-doubt doesn’t appear to be exclusive to a particular gender, race or personality type. We feel like a fraud often when we are trying to do something that’s new to us. Here’s the thing: doing something new is no longer an option, it’s a requirement. The pace of change is ever increasing. With those changes, we are each asked more and more often to learn something new–or even transform ourselves. The graph below is adapted from Geoffrey Moore’s book Dealing with Darwin:

Life Cycle Change Curve

The chart illustrates how businesses, products and technology have to innovate and change in order to move forward or improve performance. But, what if instead of viewing this from the lens of a business or product, you view it as your career? For most of us, this is the new reality and it comes with the additional requirement of learning new things on a regular basis.

What does this mean? It means it’s possible you could continually feel like an imposter. By the time you get through one learning curve, a new one begins. The persistence of this issue could manifest itself in some very real problems for individuals and workplaces.1

  1. To keep up appearances, you work harder (but not necessarily smarter), which leads to burnout.
  2. Self-doubt causes you to give answers you feel your supervisors want.
  3. You use charm to compensate for feeling inadequate. When praised, you feel you received acknowledgment because of charm instead of merit.
  4. You avoid displays of confidence in yourself.

What Can You Do to Avoid the Imposter Crisis?

All of these issues can be devastating to your productivity, innovation, creativity and your ability to collaborate effectively with others. Left unchecked, this can seriously impede your career and prevent you from achieving your goals in life. So, what can you do about it? Here are a few suggestions.

  1. Acknowledge the Feelings

    Recognizing when you’re feeling self-doubt can give you more power over those feelings. Lack of awareness allows self-doubt to manipulate your actions (or inaction) without your knowledge. It’s like a sneaky, little gremlin sabotaging your life from the shadows. Shed some light on him and you take away his power.

    Also realize you’re not alone in feeling this way. Others, even those you may feel are judging you, struggle with the same doubts and uncertainty. They likely think much more about their own inadequacies than yours. A former first lady put it best.

    You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
    Eleanor Roosevelt

  2. Get Perspective

    In his Inc.com article on How to Overcome Your Fear of Being a Fraud, Chris Desi encourages you to seek a mentor. This should be someone who can empathize with your feelings, share how they deal with self-doubt and encourage you to overcome your fear. Desi also recommends reviewing your past accomplishments. If you received public awards, you can even ask yourself if the judges would have acknowledged you if you didn’t deserve it.

    If you’re still wondering if you’re over your head, take a moment to check your comfort level. In his advice on setting goals, Michael Hyatt gives a great description of 3 different zones of comfort on the “This is Your Life” Podcast. If you feel like you’re in your Comfort Zone, then maybe your goals aren’t not pushing you enough. You should strive to be in the Discomfort Zone. This the place where growth happens because–as we mentioned above–you’re learning something new. But don’t deceive yourself into trying something impossible and ending up in the Delusion Zone.

  3. Be Courageous

While in basic training, Dan Sullivan learned the difference between fear, courage and confidence from an Army Sergeant.

He said, “Fear is wetting your pants. And courage is doing what you’re supposed to do with wet pants.”

Sullivan goes on to explain…

Courage is often depicted as a person feeling absolutely certain about taking action in a situation. That’s not courage — that’s confidence. The difference between courage and confidence is that confidence feels good; courage is doing what you’re supposed to do despite the discomfort and the lack of confidence.

OK, so you’re not running military drills with live hand grenades, but the fear of being seen as an imposter is just as real. It taps into the primitive part of your brain that avoids danger (sensed or real) in order to survive. This is when you need to realize, as Elizabeth Gilbert puts it, fear doesn’t have your permission to drive the car. You can’t avoid him, but you can put him in the back seat.

Like I mentioned earlier, when I the bank employees confronted me about being an imposter I let it ruin my day. Don’t let imposter syndrome ruin your day, or worse, your career. With the oncoming imposter crisis, be aware when it creeps in on you, keep your perspective and stock up on courage to do what you’re supposed to (even with wet pants).

 


 

6 Ways Leaders Manage Barriers

There are few figures who have addressed the topic of leadership with the zeal of Tom Peters. Years ago, I participated in an online community of folks on Tom Peters’ website. One day, Tom posted this quote.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
—John Quincy Adams

The statement is a wonderful encouragement to define leadership as an act of inspiration and transformation. But, as I thought more about it, I began to wonder if it was a bit misleading. Who am I to argue with dead presidents? Still, since I believe in the inherent potential residing in each of us, I wrote:

“I don’t think we inspire people to ‘become more,’ I think we help them discover who they really are. In a way, we help them become who they already are. Who they were created to be. We don’t take them BEYOND their being, we help remove unnatural obstacles that keep them from being.” 

To my wondrous surprise, Tom Peters took my comment and used it as a part of his presentation on “The Nub of Leadership.”
slide from Tom Peters' presentation 'The Nub of Leadership'

I am not bringing this up so I can brag about it. It’s a blog comment from over 10 years ago, and I don’t want to come across like Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico reliving his “glory days.” I mention this because have been thinking recently about why this resonated with someone as wise and prolific as Tom Peters. I’ve also been considering why I felt strongly enough to make the comment in the first place.  Here are some conclusions:

  1. I wholeheartedly believe the untapped potential of our people is the greatest resource available to improve our workplaces and organizations today.
  2. I also believe there are a myriad of obstacles that limit that potential–unnecessarily.

If both these statements bear out, then one of the most important things we can do as leaders is to manage the barriers that limit our people. It would then make sense that Tom Peters included this in his presentation The Nub of Leadership: Helping/Inviting Others to “Discover Their Greatness.”

But, how do you manage barriers so people are allowed to discover and explore their greatness? I haven’t seen much about this in business books and writing, so I decided to cover six leadership styles based on different ways to manage barriers. As you read these, think about which style you use and the kind of leaders with whom you work best.

  1. Drill Sergeant
    Overcoming these barriers will make you stronger. Yes, it would be faster if that wall wasn’t there, but you’ll develop new muscles by pulling yourself up that rope to the top and climbing over. If you complain, procrastinate or try to go around – I will push you and force you to struggle through the challenge. This may seem harsh, but–in the end–I’m making you better.
  2. Cheerleader
    You can do it! I believe in you. By reminding you of how incredible you are, I inspire you to overcome whatever is in your path. It doesn’t matter what it is, you have the ability, deep inside yourself, to rise above. If you don’t succeed, maybe you didn’t believe in yourself. In that case, I’ll give you an extra dose of confidence through my never-ending encouragement. Go for it!!
  3. The Pessimist
    Sometimes, it isn’t worth risking failure in order to overcome obstacles. There may be a good reason that road block is there. Play it safe. We don’t want anyone getting hurt or losing lots of money just because they thought they could succeed against the odds. Remember, it’s the tallest blade of grass that gets cut. So, don’t try to grow too fast. Just stick to the status quo.
  4. The Circumventer
    There’s always another way of doing things. You don’t have to go over the top, we can go around instead. Sure, it might take longer… a lot longer… but it reduces the level of effort needed in the short run. I’m not looking to invest, we need to bootstrap our operations. Learn to do more with less and look for opportunities to “zig” when others “zag.”
  5. The Micromanager
    I know how I would overcome these barriers and I will give you each step to take. I don’t just want you to succeed, I want you to do it the right way. You may have your own ideas, but set those aside for now and trust me. I feel much better when I know things are under control and proceeding as planned, so report back to me often and give me the opportunity to redirect you as needed.
  6. The Barrier Breaker
    If that barrier is unnecessary, then let’s get rid of it. I’ll run the traps for you. Let’s cut the red tape and take the weights off your legs. I want you freed up to take on the important work. Realize I can’t break all the barriers for you. There are some you do need to work through in order to learn and grow. But there are lots of obstacles that serve no purpose and I’m going to get those out of your way so you can reach your full potential.

Although it may appear being a “Barrier Breaker” is ideal, it may be best to apply situational leadership to these styles. Each may be suited for a specific situation. Yes, even “The Micromanager.” As folks are learning a new job or are early in their careers, they may need micromanagement until they gain understanding and can make greater contributions.

What do you think? Is this important to you? Do you have other thoughts or observations?

How to Balance Creativity and Productivity

Creating something seems synonymous to producing something. Yet, the terms creativity and productivity can be very different concepts. If I describe someone as “creative” you probably imagine an artist or a person who generates clever ideas. When I mention a “productive” person, you likely think of someone very different. Perhaps an assembly line worker cranking out widgets, or a paper pusher who can empty their inbox at lightning speed.

The truth is you need to be both of these people. You need to be productive so you can meet deadlines and help your business be profitable. Meanwhile, you also need to be creative in order to generate new ideas, come up with better ways to do your work or find innovative solutions when things don’t go as planned. In the middle of the daily grind, you probably don’t think much about bringing the proper mix of creativity and productivity to your work.

But what is the proper mix of creativity and productivity? Here are 3 signs they are out of balance and how to balance your creativity and productivity.

Creativity-and-Productivity

  1. Too Much Play: Resistance pushes you to the next idea.

    An idea energizes and motivates you. You organize and rally behind it until you start to feel resistance. Energy wains as you realize the challenges of executing your idea. Eventually, you are lured away by another (newer, shinier) idea and the cycle starts over. Constantly chasing new ideas never allows the previous ones to mature.

    In her book Multipliers, Liz Wiseman describes this syndrome:

    Idea Guys are fountains of creativity, and their minds race with non-stop ideas. They may think they’re sparking innovation, but they cause whiplash as people scurry to keep up with each new idea, making minor progress in many directions.

    Signs you are too heavily in the “play” quadrant:

    • You never document processes for your activities because they change so often.
    • You are stretched in many directions, but don’t seem to complete many tasks.
    • You spend a heavy amount of time planning and brainstorming, but lose interest when it’s time to execute.

    How to restore balance:

    • Put new ideas in a “parking lot.” Write them on a dry erase board or add them to a list on your computer. Revisit them after the initial euphoria has worn off to see if they still have merit.
    • Start with the end in mind. Use the initial energy at the beginning of a project to set up milestones. Envision what success will look like and predict how completing the effort will make new opportunities available. This will help you push through the valleys of the project.
    • Use new ideas as motivators to finish your current work. There is an opportunity cost to saying “yes” to new ideas because they can take away from what you’re currently working on. Don’t allow yourself to start working on a new idea until you complete something comparable.
  2. Too Much Routine: Each day looks like the one before.

    You’re so busy executing, you don’t have time to question why you’re doing what you’re doing, let alone if there could be a better way to do it. Established ideas are not challenged and new ideas are not offered up. Because of this, each day seems like you just go through the motions. You stack ’em up, knock ’em down, then stack ’em up again.

    Signs you are too heavily in the “Routine” quadrant:

    • “That’s the way we’ve always done it.” is a common refrain. New team members or business partners are the only ones who offer ideas, and even that is temporary.
    • You’re losing market share to competitors who are more innovative. You keep old-fashioned customers only because of their sense of comfort and loyalty (until it gets too painful for even them).
    • Roles never seem to change. If you have a team, there’s no sign of advancement opportunities.

    How to restore balance:

    • Have more patience with alternatives offered by others. Allow ideas to incubate before shooting them down. (See 10 Signs You’re Shooting Down Good Ideas)
    • Be willing to test new ideas. If you’re scared to put a huge investment into a new product or service, see what you can do to float a trial balloon. Can you create a prototype or beta test with a select group?
    • Shake up routines. Ask team members if they want to do something different or try on a new role. Visit a museum or attend a conference. Visit the bookstore and select a few magazines from other industries, then identify trends and see if you can apply some of them to your business.
  3. Welcome to the morgue: Stagnation

    This is the most dangerous quadrant. You’re not creative and you’re not productive. You’ve practically flatlined. This can happen because of burnout or setbacks, but basically what you’ve been doing no longer works and you’ve now lost all motivation to try anything new.

    Signs you’re in stagnation.

    • It smells like entropy. Without any energy being injected into your business, things have trended toward chaos. Things aren’t well organized nor are they updated. Maintenance is slipping, perhaps non-existent, and appearances have not been kept up. (see The Smell of Entropy for an example)
    • It sounds like apathy. Common phrases are “Who cares?”, “It’s not worth the effort.” or “Nothing’s going to change anyway.”
    • It feels like death. You’ve gone through the stages 1) Denial and Isolation, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression and 5) Acceptance. Now all that’s left is to wait for the bank to put the last nail in the coffin.

    How to restore balance:

    In his book, Boundaries for Leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how to reverse the death spiral of a leader. His points give a good framework for escaping stagnation

    • Create connections. Schedule times to bring your team together and let everyone discuss the current situation and even share some potential solutions. Emphasize a positive tone, but encourage honesty. Share in victories and difficulties.
    • Regain control. Dr. Cloud recommends making a list of things you can’t control that are making business difficult. Spend 5-10 minutes REALLY worrying about them (don’t be in denial). Then stop worrying about them. Make another list of what you can control which can create positive results. Prioritize this list and plan these activities as your primary focus.
    • Take note of the 3 P’s. Realize it’s not Personal (you are not a failure). It’s not Pervasive (not everything is going wrong). It’s not Permanent (don’t lose hope). Dr. Cloud recommends journaling the negative thoughts around the 3 P’s and writing counterarguments to each.
    • Add structure and accountability. Break your workday down into small increments (e.g. 30 minutes each), and specifically plan what to do in that time. “[Writing down objectives] for each thirty minutes of the day helps identify and isolate activities that are particularly endangered due to inaction.”
    • Take the Right Kind of Action with the Right Kind of Accountability. Take action that SPECIFICALLY drives results. Dr. Cloud further states, “The accountability you want is the kind that drives success, not the kind that only measures results and keeps score.” and “Said another way, don’t count the score. Count the behaviors that run up the score.”

At the beginning of this article, I mentioned how creativity and productivity differ. By taking stock of where you are in the grid above, then restoring the balance of creativity and productivity in your business and/or team, you’ll likely discover these two words come together to create a state of flow. This is where creativity and productivity work together, building upon each other in a powerful way. When you’re in a state of flow, ideas help drive activities to completion while measurable progress promotes innovation and inspiration.

StateOfFlow

We need both creativity and productivity to accomplish meaningful work on a consistent basis. Finding this balance may be the difference in discovering your success.

If you have thoughts on creativity and productivity, feel free to leave a comment below or tweet me about it.

How Attractions Help You Avoid Distraction

marquee-main-attractionThere’s a big reason we have so many issues trying to accomplish important work. We aren’t clear about what is the main attraction and what are simply distractions.

When you think about your daily activities, how many of them could be classified as a distraction?

  • Binge-watching House of Cards
  • Scrolling through a dozen screens of Facebook updates (and associated ads)
  • Reading gossip about celebrities
  • Spreading gossip about celebrities
  • Checking email unnecessarily

– Ironically, I got derailed from writing this blog post because checking my email seemed critical (it wasn’t).

But there are even bigger things than this. Your job could be distracting you from the attraction of a fulfilling and impacting career. That fad diet could be distracting you from a more meaningful, healthy lifestyle. Treating those migraine headaches may be distracting you from dealing with the stress you’re under and finding a sense of peace.

What can you do to overcome distraction?

Define Your Main Attractions

If you don’t focus on what is important to you, then distractions will continuously lead you around by the nose.  Take some time (yes, you can carve out an hour this week) to quiet your mind and ask yourself what is truly important to you. Write these down on a sheet of paper. It could things like your family, but try to build toward things that are specific to you and less generic (e.g. having a close-knit relationship with my kids, helping people overcome poverty or being active and fit).

Organize Yourself around Your Main Attractions

Knowing the big picture of what you want is helpful, but you need to understand how to apply it to your daily life. Use your calendar, a task managing app or even simple lists on a sheet of paper to make sure you’re taking care of what is important to you. Start by looking at the inventory of your personal main attractions and write down activities that help you stay focused on your goals and values. Revisit this at the end of the day. Evaluate what you did well and where you can improve. Now you can make a new list for the next day.

(Better yet, create “Success Lists” instead of “To Do Lists”, from Gary Keller’s book The ONE Thing. Brian Johnson explains the book succinctly in this video.)

Systemize Good Habits

In her latest book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, Gretchen Rubin disagrees with trying to make healthy choices each day. She encourages us to make ONE healthy choice and then make it systematic… a habit. Here’s a section from her interview on BigThink.com:

…the advantage of a habit is that once something’s on automatic pilot, then the brain doesn’t have to use any energy or willpower to make a decision. You’ve already made that decision. You’re just moving forward. And so it happens easily without any thought, without any willpower, without any effort. You’re just on cruise control and then you can do what you want to get done.

If you’re having to make deliberate choices to focus on your main attractions, you may reach a point of decision fatigue and then the distractions win again. If I plan to go to the gym, I set out my clothes and get my water bottle ready the night before. It has become a habit. Once I’ve done that, I rarely miss my exercise routine.

The world will always be full of distractions and the little gremlins will try to knock you off course. But, if you identify your main attractions and then organize and systemize your life around them, you have a better shot at accomplishing what is important in your life. What could be greater than that?

My life is my message.

-Gandhi

How Do You Decide When to Quit?

Knowing when to quit and when to press on can be one of life’s toughest decisions. When things get tough, the tough get going… but do they go straight ahead or in a different direction? When I wanted to quit football in high school, my father taught me a lesson I have never forgotten.

high-school-footballIn preparation for the big homecoming game my sophomore year, our rural Oklahoma football team had ordered new uniforms so we would look our best during the halftime ceremony. Just one problem – there weren’t enough new uniforms for everyone. Junior and senior class players got first selections. Then as one of the coaches was giving sophomores their uniforms, he skipped me (and a couple of other “average” athletes) and gave the remaining uniforms to some of the talented freshmen players.

I was humiliated.

I wasn’t being a fashionista. This was a message to me that the coaches didn’t consider me a valuable contributor, and this message would be on public display to everyone else. The uniforms were so distinct the rest of the team would notice, as would everyone in the stands while we stood in the middle of the field during the homecoming ceremony. I couldn’t imagine being one of the few varsity players wearing a marred and tattered, older-style uniform. I walked up to the coach and said, “I quit.” and walked out of the field house.

Shortly after the game had started, my father wondered why I wasn’t on the field and he came and found me. I explained my reasons for quitting the team. He understood my frustration, but reminded me I had made a commitment to the coaches and my team. He encouraged me to finish out the season before deciding whether to quit, but left the decision up to me.

I knew he was right. After the game, I swallowed my pride and asked the coach if I could return to the team. I finished the season, but never played football after that year. Since I didn’t continue pursuing football, it may seem like rejoining the team was meaningless. But I learned some valuable lessons from my father’s advice.

All of us have been in a place like this – where we don’t feel like a valued contributor, where we don’t sense we are in our element or where we don’t feel fulfilled. Maybe that is where you are today. You have no desire to stay where you are, but quitting can be a scary proposition.

So, how do you decide when to quit? Here are a few tips.

  1. Assess your commitments.

    Did you commit to a timeframe or to specific deliverables? Consider how failing to meet those commitments could impact your employer, your client and/or your reputation. If staying committed is best for everyone involved, push to that finish line. I felt I had committed to completing the football season when I joined the team, so I pushed on. In another example, Heather Dorniden pushed herself to the literal finish line after falling during a 600 meter race. Here are the two inspiring videos: the first video and the second (hat tip to Michael Hyatt‘s great post “Don’t Quit Before the Whistle Blows).

    If I miss a goal, which sometimes happens when you set huge ones, I want the reassurance that I did everything I in my power to make it happen. I want the peace in knowing that it wasn’t for lack of hustling that I missed a target for my dream. I want to know that the one thing under my control was under control.
    Jon Acuff, Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job

  2. Assess the opportunity to grow.

    That event at homecoming helped me recognize I was only playing football because I thought I was supposed to. Honestly, I didn’t enjoy it and likely would never have been more than a mediocre player. The time I would have spent continuing to play football was instead funneled into creative activities I enjoyed and excelled in, as well as a part-time job.

    Consider whether quitting now improves or limits your capacity to grow. What are the opportunity costs for sticking with it compared to trying something else? Do you have other options you know you can pursue and be excellent in doing?

    Mediocre work is rarely because of a lack of talent and often because of the cul-de-sac. All coping does is waste your time and misdirect your energy. If the best you can do is cope, you’re better off quitting.
    Seth Godin, The Dip

  3. Set a tripwire on your decision.

    There are very few times when you commit to something for life, so most everything we commit to has to end eventually… but when? My father suggested I wait and decide whether to quit after the football season was over. This gave me a specific time to consider my decision. If now isn’t the right time for you to decide, set a tripwire. Do you need to make your decision after fulfilling your commitments, like I did? Maybe you need to prepare yourself for the transition. Practicality may require you to line up another option first. But don’t let these issues cause you to procrastinate. Estimate how long this should take and set a date for your decision. This will give you a specific goal to aim for and will help motivate you to make progress toward that goal.

Quitting isn’t easy, but languishing in mediocrity is no picnic either. By considering your options and making a plan, you can improve your opportunities for success. Finally, don’t feel like quitting makes you a loser. To quote Seth again from The Dip…

Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.
Seth Godin, The Dip

I hope these tips help you do exactly that. Quit the right stuff at the right time.

How Emotional Posture Stunts Growth

vulnerability is not weakness

original image by samplediz at FreeImages.com (http://www.freeimages.com/photo/1224442)

“I’ll never let that happen again.”

Amidst all of life’s slings and arrows, we learn to put up our shields to protect ourselves. We do this to get through situations when we feel attacked, but if we leave our shields up we close ourselves off. We galvanize ourselves in a way that prevents us from learning, changing and growing.

We trust someone and they hurt us, so we no longer trust as easily.
We try something new and it backfires, so we go back to our comfort zone.
We share our art with others and get negative feedback, so we keep it to ourselves next time.

Our brains naturally try and avoid pain in order to protect our existence. Self-preservation is essential in life or death scenarios. But we’re people, not jam. We don’t need to be preserved indefinitely. In order to experience what it means to be human, we have to take emotional and mental risks, even when it means inevitably experiencing pain.

If we let it, our emotional posture will stunt our growth.

Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.

– Dr. Brené Brown

Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability is not one of weakness, but of strength (here are some videos of her explaining this). I find it helpful to think about vulnerability as a posture. If you are too protective, you could be closed off to the world around you.

If you are in a closed posture, you…

  • … keep your head down
  • … watch closely where you walk
  • … hold your arms in to protect your heart
  • … are sure to not make contact with anyone or anything
  • … ultimately make yourself smaller

If you are in an open posture, you…

  • … hold your head high
  • … see farther and can notice more opportunities
  • … are more free to use your arms and hands in helping others
  • … are able to connect more easily with others and build rewarding relationships
  • … are able to grow

It can be scary to walk through each day with an open posture (especially after getting sucker punched). But if we decide our solution to life’s hard lessons is to “never do that again,” we may miss incredible opportunities to see something beautiful born out of our willingness to be vulnerable.

As you go through your day, check your posture and ask yourself if you’re being open or closed.

Pushers and Pullers

who-pushes-youIf you’re like most folks, you have a lot of people pulling at you daily.

  • You may have children who need your support.
  • Your boss likely needs you to to complete specific tasks to help her achieve stated objectives.
  • Schools and/or churches pull on you to volunteer and help raise funds.
  • Advertisers constantly pull on your attention and wallet

And that is simply the tip of the iceberg.

When you stop to think about everyone and everything pulling on you, it makes sense why you feel pulled in so many different directions.

But, have you ever considered who is pushing you? Who pushes you to…

  • … grow and learn?
  • … say “yes” to something that scares you?
  • … say “no” to what will distract you?
  • … dream big?
  • … take action on YOUR goals?
  • … stick to YOUR values?
  • … get out of a rut?
  • … choose grace over criticism?
  • … stop settling for less?
  • … dig deep inside yourself and find something the world can’t live without?

We give “pushy” a bad name, but sometimes we need more pushers to help us break free from the superfluous things pulling at us.

Invite someone to give you a push – and value it when they push you in the direction you need to go.